I wish I could just disappear. Fuck.
God, it’s fucking difficult to come back to living amongst a group of people who already have cliques and gushing friendships. And it’s back to trying and trying every day, pretending I’m not completely at sea and wishing I could just go back home and sleep or do something boring and by myself.
Today I was so out of it I kept wishing I could be somewhere else, and I keep thinking—if only I had the money, if only that weren’t a concern at all, I’d leave this place completely and do something and go somewhere that makes me feel happy and safe, and not dumb and awkward and worthless all the fucking time.
Okay shutting up now.